Angelsete

There is a particular kind of silence that unsettles me.

It is the silence after I send a message. The kind that stretches just long enough for my mind to begin its work. I tell myself I do not care. I tell myself I am busy. And then, almost without meaning to, I check again.

I have always been a person who thinks deeply. I can trace a single moment and turn it over until it yields ten meanings. This has made me observant. It has also made me restless.

Overthinking feels productive. It feels like control. If I can understand every angle, then perhaps nothing can surprise me. But lately I have begun to suspect that it is not understanding I am chasing. It is reassurance.

One of my goals for 2026 is to learn how to live without the constant need to interpret everything. To allow things to exist without assigning them meaning. To let silence be silence and to be able to be comfortable with it.

And yet, this blog was not a carefully planned project. I did not map it out. I did not build a strategy.

I woke up this morning and decided I wanted a blog.

I am spontaneous like that. Maybe because I can be impatient. I cannot stand suspense. I get tired of circling an idea and waiting for the “perfect time.” At some point, I would rather begin than keep thinking about beginning.

Maybe this is part of learning how not to overthink.

I do not know exactly what this blog will become. I just know I think a lot about love. About wanting reassurance and pretending I do not. About ambition. About my body. About ego. About wanting more than you are told is reasonable.

I do not have answers yet. But I have decided that I will no longer pretend I do not have questions.

If I am going to think deeply, I might as well think openly.

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